Thursday, 21 September 2017

Happy 8th Blogday!

Oh Hai,

This morning I woke up in a luxurious hotel in London. Not a bad way to start the day. I'd been in London the day before to shoot some footage for HelloWorld and had intended to attend a premiere that evening, so, booked a lovely hotel to primp and preen in before walking the red carpet in a floor length cream and sequined maternity dress. The. Glamour. 

Well, the shoot ran on, I missed the premiere, I got to my hotel tired and frazzled, they noted this, upgraded me to a suite, I put on my over sized asda pj's, ordered some tomato soup room service and was asleep by 9.30pm. The. Glamour. Ha!! 

This sort of experience is definitely the stuff of 2015, the year of glitz, but not so much of 2017. I'm enjoying the novelty.

Thank you @Amy_balabil, twitter.

2016/2017, my Sept-Sept 8th year of blogging has been blissful. I talked two years ago about my heart breaking and life crumbling, one year ago about building myself up and healing and now, life is good. Life is so, so good. 

I was in a taxi last night with a close friend and he talked about a great heart ache and how although at the time it felt as though the world was falling apart, it needed to to give him what he has now. That resonated with me because I can see that I needed to walk through those hard years to be in the year I'm in and I'm so crazy grateful.

Thank you Grumble Designs, insta. 

September is my favourite month of the year. Despite having been out of full time education for 11 years now, I still seem to run on an academic calendar and for me, September means a fresh start and new beginnings. 

Last September I was at the beginning of a new relationship and feeling great. My days were filled with getting to know an amazing man, making an effort (you know how at the start you try extra hard to look nice haha) and slowly introducing Darcy into the mix.

Thank you @bek_jw, twitter. 

Lucky for me, Darcy took to Liam from the off. He was and is great with her. We were quite strategic and made sure to never rush, never do gifts (I've had step parents buy my love and know it doesn't work) and never push and it worked. Liam was everything I had hoped I would find in a man and as you all know, it's still going very well. 

Professionally this blog year has picked up too. 2014/15 was amazing, 15/16 I needed a break but 16/17, I have found my stride again. I am loving my content, loving my slightly older audience, loving being in the 'mum crew' (ha, cringiest term ever) and just really enjoying, for the most part, internetting. As well as making videos and general social media, this has been the year I wrote and released my first fiction into the foray and it was received with rave reviews and a healthy spot at Number One in the Sunday Times Book Chart. Can't complain at that! Added to that I've had TV appearances, another stint on Radio One, worked with fantastic brands, articles I've written published in magazines and I'm currently working on the new and set to be incredible show, HelloWorld.

Thank you @DeelyBopper, twitter.

As well as internet life, my real-life life is looking pretty sweet. My circle of local friends has expanded what with a house move (the new neighbours are ace), I've started being more involved with things going on at Darcy's school (I'll never say no to a parent/teacher cheese and wine night!) and our never ending schedule of playdates has also been a joy for me as I grown so close to some of the parents. What's even more lovely is that Liam has too and we have a wonderful social group going on. 

Something I haven't written about in this post yet about my wonderful new life is the wonderful new life I'm growing! I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with my second baby girl, expected January! Liam and I had talked quite openly about wanting to have children and were happily surprised to find we were able to have one so easily. So many of my friends try to conceive for so long and so it doesn't escape me how lucky we are. 

It's been a year of change. I'm in a new relationship, I'm in a new house, I've taken on new roles in lots of the things I do, but one thing that hasn't changed over all these years is you. 

Every single time I have asked for your support or needed a pick-me-up, one or more of you has been there. And I mean EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. To people that don't immerse themselves in this crazy world, they might thing, 'nah, it's just a stranger, it doesn't mean anything', but oh my God to to me it does. I have loved celebrating with you, sharing with you, sometimes crying with you. This community is one of my best relationships and I'm never unaware that without you, there'd be no us. So, as ever, thank you. For everything. Always.

Every year I finish with the sentence from the year before. 

In 2016 I said -

"Happy Birthday little blog! What a journey we've been on. First year a wedding, second year a baby, third year a business, fourth year friends, fifth year a community, sixth year, sadly, a broken heart and seventh year, strength. What do you think will come next?"

This year I will add - 

Happy Birthday little blog! What a journey we've been on. First year a wedding, second year a baby, third year a business, fourth year friends, fifth year a community, sixth year, sadly, a broken heart, seventh year strength and sixth year, love. What do you think will come next?

Love. I think the theme of this year has to be it. Love from Liam, the love Darcy has for our new family unit, our love for this new baby coming in 15 weeks, love for our growing social circle and the love I have received from you. Love wins. 

I want to also say a big thank you to all the people who submitted art work for this post. I couldn't choose all of it but have loved each piece and hope you do too. 

So on we go into our ninth year. Crazy. I'd love you to tell me in the comments when you found our community, what you like about it and a little about yourselves. Share the love!



Tuesday, 20 June 2017

The First Trimester

Oh Hai,

I've got 15 minutes before I have to dash out the door to collect Darcy from school and rather than do the 85 jobs I have on my list (ring the solicitors, load the washing machine, open the post etc), I thought I'd write this blog post!

With the end of the first trimester in sight (we had our official NHS 12 week ultrasound on Monday which gave us an official due date of January 1st!) I wanted to write up my thoughts and feelings on how it had been. Partly because I know when you find our you're expecting, your favourite thing to do is read anything and everything on the matter and also because I want to look back on this and have captured the moments.

I'll start by saying my first trimester has been a healthy one and that's the most important thing. I had a small bleed at week 11 which felt frightening (should I talk about this further or is it TMI?) but after an emergency scan I was reassured and baby is fine.

I have suffered a lot less than many women. My friend's Marie and Reb both had HG and so comparing my experience and calling it 'bad' feels quite wimpy!

Here's how I felt -

Initially, very overwhelmed. Although we'd discussed and planned to start trying for a baby in Summer, by Spring we were pregnant and I was shocked how quickly it had happened. I felt unprepared and struggled to wrap my mind around the concept. That sounds so silly considering I knew I wasn't being careful with contraception, I knew we were going to try in May and I knew I wanted a baby but still, I felt overwhelmed. A few weeks on though and I'm fully onboard!

Tired. OMG the tiredness hasn't been like, 'oh I'd love a little snooze later', but like, 'shit me I might literally lay down on the floor of Tesco and sleep for 4 hours in a minute'. Thankfully I work from home and Darcy is in school so I've been able to take plenty of rest hours but I can't imagine how challenging it must be for people who work in out-of-the-home environments or Mum's of pre-schoolers. I tip my hat to you ladies!! I still don't feel like I'm back to my pre-pregnancy energy but I'm not napping every day and I'm hopeful that'll get better.

Sick. Whilst I've rarely actually been sick, I feel sick every. single. day. Morning til about 2pm I'm fit as a fiddle and then come the afternoon it's game over. By evening I can't be in or near the kitchen because the smell of everything tips me over the edge and I can't remember the last time I fed the cats their stinky meat pouches! (Don't worry, Liam feeds them!). It's the least fun feeling sick. It sucks the joy out of everything and leaves you grumpy and sloth like. I've noticed it's eased off a bit this last week so touch wood that continues please. Ginger biscuits and regular little dry snacks have helped. I've also been drinking so, so, so much water which I think has helped too.

Hormonal. Sometimes I have felt so low for a few days in a row and googled pre-natal depression because it's so unlike me to feel so down. I think the nausea and tiredness held me back in day to day life and that sucked the joy out of things, making me feel super deflated. I couldn't seem to get any buzz or zizz and just felt quite lonely and grey. I don't think I realised how rubbish I felt until I didn't feel like that anymore because although now I still have moments of anger/sadness that feel much stronger than usual, I don't feel as grey. Liam has been a saint through my moods. God bless him.

As far as pregnancy symptoms go, that's pretty much where I'm at. I've had a few little things like bigger boobs or going to the loo a million times a day but they haven't seemed as news worthy as the ones above.

In all of these things, the things that have helped have been just taking it slow. Boring and tedious but I've found 'pushing through' leads to even more exhaustion, tears and set backs the next day. I'm really thankful to have such a supportive partner in Liam and have felt very much like I'm in a team and not doing it all alone which has been so, so appreciated.

I won't be doing weekly updates on my youtube channel but I might keep you updated a bit more over here if you are interested? I've really enjoyed blogging about pregnancy so I'm sure you'll see a lot more from me over here, do let me know what you'd like to read about!



Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Baby Pentland Is On The Way!

Oh Hai,

The most likely scenario here is that you've come over from my YouTube video and already know the news but in case you're new - I'm pregnant!! 

I wanted to write a blog post on it in case I forgot to talk about all the things in the video and to document this, it's quite the moment isn't it?

Seven years ago this Summer, in 2010, I found out I was pregnant with Darcy. She was a planned baby with my then-Husband and after a good pregnancy but traumatic delivery, in April 2011 my beautiful little girl was born. 

With the memories of a difficult birth and the breakdown of my marriage looming, I vowed not to have any more children. I was pretty set in that. 

Over the years lots changed. Business boomed, Darcy bloomed and I learnt how to run my life as a single Mum. I thought about having more children and thought it would be nice but didn't think I'd meet the right man or be in the right frame of mind to start a new chapter of life. 

Until Liam. 

Liam walked into my life last Summer, quite unexpectedly. For the first time in my single life, I wasn't excessively looking or dating with any intent. I'd decided I'd be alone forever but just enjoy drinks with hot men here and there and flirt mercilessly, haha. 

Turns out, Liam flipped that idea on his head and over the year, we've found we fit perfectly and have built a wonderful life together. My deep down hope was to find a man who would love me and accept and respect Darcy. What I've found in Liam is so, so, so much more. Hurrah for love and for good men!

From the off we talked about having a baby at some point in our future and had planned to start seriously thinking about it this Summer. At the end of April though, after feeling completely exhausted on a photoshoot and suddenly realising the dates (honestly it was like in a film where suddenly it hits you), I took a test and hey presto, that Summer baby was already cooking! An early blessing!

We. Are. Thrilled. 

We waited quite a while to tell Darcy (she's SO excited, more on that later) and clearly, have waited a little bit longer to tell the rest of the world but I'm getting to a point where I won't be able to hide it at events much longer and with the book tour coming up, I thought I should let the cat out the bag! Also, I'm desperate to make baby-related content! I want to do product reviews, share my tales, hear about yours, shop (me oh my I can't wait to shop for it) and just yanno, be open!!

Baby Pentland is set to be a much welcomed addition to the family, making his or her appearance January 2018!

I'm a Mother of TWO!!! 

I hope you will be happy for us all as we embark on this adventure of blending our family, giving Darcy a baby brother or sister and becoming parents together. If you have any Q's, pop them in the comment section below and I'll pick a few to A in a future blog post. 

Thank you always for all your support, I'm going to need it over the next few month- pregnancy is hard work haha!



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